Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Makes Me Feel Less Crazy

I didn't get enough comments of the "please don't tell the darning needle in the eye story" variety, so now I'm sharing.  The story was told in my Abnormal Psychology class by one of my favorite professors.  This professor brought in a former FBI profiler to walk us through actual crime scene photos and profile the killer.  The profiler said I had a knack for it, then she broke my heart and said that the FBI usually wants people who are about 30 with life experience, not right out of college.  I'm not going to lie, I still have profiling in the back of my mind as a possible profession later in life.  Anyway, you came here for a needle story, so here it goes. 

My professor was working in the Psychiatric wing of a hospital when she got a call from a nurse in the Emergency Room asking her to come down ASAP.  She walked into the waiting room of the ER and found a doctor handing out Valium to a patient's family.  That was her first sign that something bad was waiting for her behind the ER door.  She walked back into one of the curtain areas and found a 50-something woman with a darning needle sticking straight out of one eye.  Now, darning needles are not small, they are large, thick and curved.  My professor politely backed out of the room and asked the nurse something along the lines of "What the hell?".  The nurse explained that the needle-lady said that the needle was her beacon to the "others".  She needed the needle so they could communicate with her.  So my professor thought for a moment and asked the nurse for tin foil.  The nurse was all "tin foil?".  Yes, tin foil.  With tin foil in hand my professor fashioned 2 hats complete with antennae.  She put one on her own head and brought the other one to the needle-lady.  She explained to Crazy that the needle-in-the-eye was like, so last week and that the "others" were now communicating via tin foil hats.  Needle lady was all, thank heavens for you, I'll just take this needle out now.  NO! How about we let the doctor do that? The doctor was able to remove the needle with no damage to the woman's vision, just a nasty black eye.  My professor then walked the woman back to the psych ward, both sporting their new beacon hats.  This proved two of her important theories of psychology: 1) Think on your feet and 2) If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

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