Spam, It's Not Just Square Meat

Whichever computer decides what spam email I get should be rebooted. I have been getting the following offers repeatedly:

The Electronic Cigarette! (I have never smoked and don't even know how an electronic cigarette might work. Long extension cord?)

Diabetic Protection (Not diabetic and don't know any diabetics I need protection from.)

Christian Singles Near You! (Single, but really not Christian. Maybe a guy named Christian?)

Bionic Hearing Aid. (Love this one. I have above average hearing that actually causes issues, google 'hyperacusis', But I kind of want to try it simply to be The Bionic Blogger.)

How To Be A Better Republican. (Laughed out loud at this one. I need a lot of help being a better Republican seeing as I'm slightly to the left of the liberal Democrats. And how does one be a better Republican? Do Glen Beck and Elisabeth Hasselbeck come to your house? If so, that could be interesting...)

Hip Replacement Surgery Recall. (Awesome. All my parts are my own, thanks. And how does one recall something in your body?)

Viking River Cruises. (One boat tour of the Seine in Paris and now they are following me. Damn French.)