Sunday, November 21, 2010

Second Base

So, apparently there is a big "scandal" right now with airport security. And please picture me doing air quotes when I say "scandal". You know, the kind of "scandals" that FOX News creates and then backs up in its future broadcasts. It seems that some people are offended by the "enhanced pat down" procedures. Yep, more air quotes. I experienced these new procedures when leaving Dulles to head home from the rally in D.C.

Here's the story. The TSA agent (a cute guy about my age) "randomly" selected me for a screening. (Just get used to the air quotes. It's how I express my irony). I say "randomly" because it became clear that he just wanted to chat me up. So I was put in plexiglass prison for about five minutes while he asked me what my sign is (not really that line, it's not the 90's, but you get the point). From prison I went to the "formal pat down area" with a female TSA agent. The pat down took about another 3 minutes, about equal to the time it takes me to put my shoes back on after the security check. I have to put them on standing up and inevitably end up doing the sideways hop trying not to fall down while simultaneously tying my shoes. Don't judge, you've done that dance.

Anyway, during the pat down I asked cousin Karen to take a picture of me. The picture was supposed to be funny, but I'm considering sending it to FOX News as "evidence" of "molestation". Can't you just see the pain on my face?

My point - and there is one - is that the complainers should grow up, grow a pair, suck it up, put on their big girl panties, and put things in perspective.
Not necessarily in that order. "Thank You".

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