Monday, October 3, 2011

Boston Driving Hints and Tips - 2

  • There is a local radio station that starts its traffic segments with an old woman with a thick Boston accent saying things like "Put on my blinker? That's like giving information to the enemy" and "I can drive with one finger, my middle one".  I find the first one particularly accurate  My guess is that the average Bostonian's car horn wears out twice as fast as the average American's, and their blinkers last twice as long. 
  • I have seen people being pulled over by the police, but I can't imagine what makes the cops choose them.  There must be some algorithm that the cops use to cull one insane driver from the herd.
  • Boston is the only city I've seen where the school bus drivers are worse than the taxi drivers.
  • I recently heard this explanation for why Boston's drivers are so bad, "Well, Boston is a city where people commute both ways with the sun in their eyes."  Yep.  That was the explanation I was given. Blame it on the Earth's rotation.  Wouldn't this have to apply to all cities where the downtown area lies East of the suburbs people commute from?  This has led me to start a subsegment of my Driving Tips and Hints posts: 
Terrible theories about why Boston drivers are so terrible

  • Drivers in Boston know that they are never more than a mile from a world class hospital, so they figure they can risk it.  This is especially true since health insurance is mandatory in Massachusetts.  These people want to get their money's worth.
  • Boston is full of equal parts crazy old ladies and new college students.  The old ladies can't remember how to drive and the students have no idea how to get anywhere.  
  • The pedestrians are so bad that the drivers are constantly either having to avoid the pedestrians, or trying to hit them and get revenge.

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