Thursday, February 10, 2011

What Do Mullets, The Olsen Twins And Pigeons Have In Common? They Were All Subjects Of One Day's Thoughts.

I will not get attached. I will not think of it as my first choice school. I will not set myself up for disappointment. I won't. I won't. Oh, who am I kidding...

I'm most homesick for the South when I see a grown man wearing a baseball cap inside who fails to hold a door open, say please, thank you or yes ma'am. Where did manners go?

I feel bad for Richard Engel's mother. He's the go-to correspondent to send to war torn, up in arms, disaster ravaged countries.

Why am I getting spam emails advertising 'pajama jeans'? I never open the emails so I can't figure out if the selling point is that they are jeans as comfy as pajamas or pajamas that make you look like you are wearing jeans. Neither is high on my priority list.

Some days I don't so much style my hair as stare at it in the mirror and ask it "what are you in the mood to do today?". It usually chooses the days when I run into all 119 members of my high school graduating class to go for the "flock of seagulls meets Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet circa 1990" look.

Dog, if you stick your cold nose against my bare leg one more time we're going to have a problem.

Did Sarah Palin just say we are allies with North Korea?! Oh Sarah, Kim Jong Faux Pas.

Who makes up the password security questions I get asked when I forget my account info online? Like "Which celebrity do people say you most resemble?". Seems awfully subjective and could change. I think this may only work for the Olsen twins.

Some days really call for a show or two on conjoined twins or a face transplant. Or maybe a woman who became a man and a man who became a woman supporting the daughter that used to be their son (true story).

Is it wrong that whenever I hear Gabrielle Giffords husband's name on TV (always referred to as "Astronaut Mark Kelly") I think of Liz Lemon's imaginary husband, Astronaut Mike Dexter, on 30 Rock?

Why don't you ever see baby pigeons? I see other baby birds. Pigeons just show up in shifty eyed flocks. Where are the baby pigeons? Think about it.

Can we all agree that only Nazis are Nazis?

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