Overheard In The Past Couple Days

"He said he was blasting in five"

"Blasting in five?"

"Yeah, they were blowing the hole for the wine cave and he was warning me."

"Oh"

"But I thought he said he was basking in fries."

"And that made sense to you."

"No, that's the point!  Why would he be basking in fries?"

"Your nuts.  You know that right?"

-----------------------

"I can't put on my mascara if you keep hogging the mirror."

"Well, I can't move until I put my eyeliner on."

"You could at least share the mirror."

"Just hold on.  Hey, did you bring the hair spray?"

"I brought the Bumble and bumble is that what you mean?"

"That or the Ojon.  Move, or I can't do my hair."

"You move."

"This humidity is oppressive.  I feel like I need to hydrate before taking the next step in hair care."

 From the other room:

"You two need a reality show."

"What would they call it?"

"Nucking and Futz?"

"Yep"

---------------------------------

"I'm losing my hearing"

"Well, my hearing is fine but my eyesight sucks."

"I can't remember anything."

"Me neither."

"Okay, so we will watch the video, I will read any words on the screen and you tell me what they are saying."

"And neither of us will remember it.
"Yep."

--------------------------------

"God!! That gecko is still alive?"

"Yep."

"How old is he now?"

"About 17"

"What's their life expectancy."

"I dunno. I'm sure we'll find out soon.  Must be more than 17"

"Maybe it can't die."

"Hmmm...doubtful, but let's not test it."

----------------------------

"When you were little we used to talk about opening a daycare and what we would name it."

"What were the options"

"Back of my hand daycare and tower of fear daycare"

"Nice.  I love you too."

---------------------------

"I went to elementary school with him."

"Yeah?"

"He was a dick"

"Yeah?"

"Then he died"

"Oh no!"

"Yeah, in high school.  But that's okay."

"Nice."